Is it really tough love

I watched a video recently that disturbed me. It was sent to me via facebook inbox. what happened in this short clip was that this teenager had apparently lied and tried to portray himself as a gangster on facebook, so his uncle decided to get a belt, whip him and have him place it on his facebook wall for all to see. Now, this is, I am sure, humiliating for the teen.

Most folks justified it as tough love and that his uncle was saving a life and the boy would thank him.They also said how they had the same happen as children. I don't see it that way. Growing up, we did not have the internet, where every little detail of your life could be spread around the globe within minutes. The uncle had the right intentions, wrong execution.

What if it backfires? Most didn't think beyond the video. That boy has to go to school with those people. Its not news that bullying is at an all time high. What if he now becomes the bullies latest target? What if gets bullied so much he commits suicide? Its not that far of a thought. Suicide rates for black males between 18-24 are kinda high. What if he flips out and kills the uncle? This is not unheard o either. Kids seemingly laying in wait for their opportunity to pounce.

Tough love does not equate to humiliate your child. You also can't make a snap decision based on a minute clip of someones life. So many people were saying they bet he wouldn't do that again...how do you know. Things can change in the blink of an eye. Especially when someone feels wronged.

This really made me think about parent-child relations in the black community. So many parents say they beat their child's butt with pride. Really? Does the punishment it the crime? Has an alternative been tried? Do you realize the amount of resentment this can build up? Do you care?Are you trying to discipline, or just get your frustrations out? What are you really after?

Whatever your reasoning's are, I implore you to look at the situation as a whole. Not just by their action. Think about the best way to deal with it. A way they will learn, not just feel pain for a moment. You are the parent. You tell your child not to hit, yet you reserve the right to whip ass at all cost. This is fine, but don't forget when you were in their shoes and don't be surprised if one day they leave home and don't some back. Tough Love is making hard decisions that are for the betterment of one. Whipping your kid is just attempting to beat sense into them

To Whom It May Concern...

To whom it may concern, or more appropriately, those who aren't concerned

about the sad state affairs of our nation, culture, our childerns' future

you say it is of no consequence to you, for you will be gone

but you are the one who put the child in that situation all along

remember with me now. you were the one who chose to have sex rawback

more concerned with the feeling of a nut but didn't think about where that birthcontrol was at

it was you who chose to forgo prenatal care you who chose to ignore that womb and what was going on in there

it was your choice to hang with your boys and smoke that weed instead of coming up with what your child may need

it was your decision to not come around till that child was 2, never once thinknig of what he was going through

it was your choice to let him cry and take your hatred of his father out on him and wish he would die

you were the one who sold your WIC to buy you a bottle now your child has nothing in his bottle

you leave him to cry while you hang with your peeps who all talk about how much your child reeks

never once have you cleansed him a qucik flip of a wipe and hes done for the night

this child who soon becomes 5 and can speak whatever you teach

instead of saying his ABC's his first sentences are nigga and bitch please

he never sang the Itsy Bitsy Spider more like I told her to bust it open so I could come inside her

he can't count doesn't even know his numbers worries more about making it rain and clap like thunder

this child that goes to school with no preparation, then you say its because his teacher is caucasion

this child that gets suspended for fights because you said if they talk crazy to you knock out their lights

this child who has never been to another childs home to play because you never taught him how to behave day to day

this child who in 5 more years will become a victim of the block, forgoing school supplies for a glock

this child who will catch his first case, not because of his deeds, but taking an older thugs place

juvenile dentition will release him at 18 and he will return to the same scene

no real education or motivation to do anything worthwhile but you welcome him home with a smile

tell him about what he has missed and which niggas held him down and who didn't

ignorance flows from your lips to his ears and he will be back in the street life it appears

he goes out one night to right those wrongs and to your despair he never comes home

hes found lying in a ditch cold to the bone, lay there dying while you were talking on the phone

while you were keeping it real with your friends, those thugs, he was meeting his end

now you sit with tears streaming down your face screaming who would do this in the first place

never owning up to your part but deep inside you feel it in your heart

people will treat you like you did them, 'sorry bout his loss but thats on him"

you will bury your child and wonder how could no one care, but you said the same of others, to be fair

so when we will stop being selfish and do the best for our seeds or will you continue to glorify misdeeds

a circle of violence is not a circle to keep unbroken, these behaviors should be more thought provoking

unfortunately another minute has passed, somebodies childs' breath was their first and it was somebodies childs' last

Copyright 2010 Butterfli