I watched a video recently that disturbed me. It was sent to me via facebook inbox. what happened in this short clip was that this teenager had apparently lied and tried to portray himself as a gangster on facebook, so his uncle decided to get a belt, whip him and have him place it on his facebook wall for all to see. Now, this is, I am sure, humiliating for the teen.
Most folks justified it as tough love and that his uncle was saving a life and the boy would thank him.They also said how they had the same happen as children. I don't see it that way. Growing up, we did not have the internet, where every little detail of your life could be spread around the globe within minutes. The uncle had the right intentions, wrong execution.
What if it backfires? Most didn't think beyond the video. That boy has to go to school with those people. Its not news that bullying is at an all time high. What if he now becomes the bullies latest target? What if gets bullied so much he commits suicide? Its not that far of a thought. Suicide rates for black males between 18-24 are kinda high. What if he flips out and kills the uncle? This is not unheard o either. Kids seemingly laying in wait for their opportunity to pounce.
Tough love does not equate to humiliate your child. You also can't make a snap decision based on a minute clip of someones life. So many people were saying they bet he wouldn't do that again...how do you know. Things can change in the blink of an eye. Especially when someone feels wronged.
This really made me think about parent-child relations in the black community. So many parents say they beat their child's butt with pride. Really? Does the punishment it the crime? Has an alternative been tried? Do you realize the amount of resentment this can build up? Do you care?Are you trying to discipline, or just get your frustrations out? What are you really after?
Whatever your reasoning's are, I implore you to look at the situation as a whole. Not just by their action. Think about the best way to deal with it. A way they will learn, not just feel pain for a moment. You are the parent. You tell your child not to hit, yet you reserve the right to whip ass at all cost. This is fine, but don't forget when you were in their shoes and don't be surprised if one day they leave home and don't some back. Tough Love is making hard decisions that are for the betterment of one. Whipping your kid is just attempting to beat sense into them
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